i'm about to go get a spray tan. lol. this is going to be funny. i went to a rockabilly fest at star bar last night. i have decided that from now on the soundtrack to my summer is going to consist of only rockabilly, sur alt country, and ramones. i also would really love to be soaking up rays on the beach right now. heaven.

i miss mi madre. she sent me a text today that said "u r my baby girl whom i love". aw. ily momma. i've decided that the only people who matter in my life right now are my family and my husband, and my BFF (that would be mindy). seriously, i've come across a lot of judgement in the past couple of weeks and i need a break from all the negative. i'm not that bad of a person. i just decided a little late what would be the right thing to do. and i know i'll live with it forever, thanks. i know that they won't be plagued by guilt, i will. and who knows, maybe i won't. maybe i'm such a terrible person that i won't think twice.

also, i really don't know what to think when a guy tells me, "if i weren't married i would LOVE to get with you"... uh... creepy or compliment?

fuck you.
i'm through asking for advice. i'm perfectly capable of making my own fucking decisions about MY life, MY body, etc. i am NOT sorry for being confused right now. i AM sorry for not being more careful, but we all make poor decisions and NONE OF US are fucking perfect. so the next fucking time you want to accuse me of something or try to call me a sinner, take a look at your fucking self. put down the bottle. put down the crackpipe. stop getting sodomized by members of the same sex. i don't give a fuck what you do, but if you're gonna verbally attack me, well a sin is a sin is a sin, MOTHERFUCKER.

from the bottom of my dead black heart, FUCK YOU ALL. SINCERELY. to those of you who condemn me, i wish you a lifetime of suffering. i only WISH that for 5 minutes you knew what it was like to walk in my shoes. this especially goes out to all the cunting women out there who think that they know something about something. bitch, i saw you snort a line five minutes ago. don't try to act all high and mighty when i've seen you at your lowest.

like i said, sincerely, baby, get fucked.

yours truly,
your resident cold hearted bitch. but then aren't we all.

I fucking ABHOR morbidly obese, cat owning, WOW-obsessed, mallgothy, pseudo-analytical waxing philosophical twats that use terms like "TROLL". Seriously, I hope you get cornered in a dark alley and maliciously raped and beaten to death by the ghost of O.D.B.

Also, I drop f-bombs like it's nobody's business. If you're so FUCKING offended, then fucking cover your eyes. Also, perhaps you should get off the FUCKING internet because it's a cesspool of raunch and dirty words.

Case closed. And no, you can't comment, fuckhead.

are these cute or corny?? i ordered these keds from zappos for work since i can wear like black sneakers and i wanted something different that converse. but i got them now and i'm not sure about em

I think teenagers are involved in more crashes than any other age group for two painfully obvious reasons. A.) They have just learned to drive, even after you get your driver's license you are still learning and evolving as a driver. The more time you spend on the road the more you will learn. Also B.) They are very easily distracted be it by their friends who are co-riding, or their ipod or sidekick going off. Seriously, texting + driving is not a good idea. There is a reason that it is illegal in many states and counties now. Seriously kids, your damn phone is not worth jeopardizing your life and the lives of others on the road. Keep your eyes on the road, be a defensive driver, and give yourself plenty of time to stop. Don't panic, don't overcorrect. I'm 24 and I'm still not as good of a driver as I'd like to be. I didn't get my license until I was 19 because I was terrified of driving. So many of my friends had gotten in wrecks. So kiddos, don't be stupid, and focus on the road!!

A: What accessories do you wear everyday?
tattoodles! i'm too lazy/broke to accessorize right now

B: What is your beauty routine?
shower like every other day, i wash my face twice daily with just like bar soap, i ordered some proactiv but the fucking dumbass sales rep on the phone didn't even order it apparently, here i've been waiting on it and i called and they were like "um there's nothing on that account". fucking moron.

C: What was the last item of clothing (for yourself) that you purchased?
i bought a dress for my rehearsal dinner for my wedding. it's so fucking cute, it looks like two pieces with like a black sateen high waisted pencil skirt and a built in little skinny black patent belt, and the top buttons up to the neck and is like this cheetah satin material. i need shoes.

D: Do you use a dresser, closet, or both?
dresser. the closet is in my bathroom and just houses shoes.

E: What type of earrings are in your ears right now?
none. my ears are pierced but i think earrings look retarded on me.

F: What type of figure do you have (measurements)?
5'4, 104 lbs, flat stomach, bubble butt, A cup... basically built like a 12 year old boy

G: Do you wear glasses?
sometimes

H: What type of handbag do you carry?
a guinness one i wish i had a new besteyville bag

I: What is your ideal style?
skinny jeans tucked into my boots, a band t, or like a jersey style dress with slouchy boots, or plaid anything. lots of red black and white. i hate bright colors unless it's for accessories. i'm so boring.

J: What is your favorite brand of jeans?
idk i'm wearing these bullhead jeans i got at pacsun that i like because theyre a 00. hahaha

K: Do you wear knee-hi stockings?
no but i like knee high argyle socks

L: Do you *have* to wear matching lingerie?
not really unless i'm planning on getting laid

M: Do you wear makeup?
red lipstick , liquid liner, a crapton of mascara, some peachy blush, and foundation just where i need it. sometimes i get buckwild and wear an ass load of highly pigmented eyeshadow, in case i want to work the Divine look.

N: Do you wear nightgowns?
hahaha when it's just me

O: What outerwear do you put on when going out on a typical winters day?
parka

P: What is your favorite perfume?
harajuku lovers or juicy couture

Q: Is your motto "quality over quantity" when it comes to clothing and accessories?
i like expensive accessories like purses and makeup and shit, but when it comes to clothes ill shop the fuck out of forever 21 and the sales rack hah

R: Do you wear rain boots?
no but i like the ed hardy ones *hides*

S: Do you wear socks or slippers when your feet get cold?
yah i want a pair of those slippers that look like eskimo boots

T: Do you have a set of travel luggage?
yeah brown with gigantic polka dots

U: What is your daily uniform?
whatever the fuck i want to wear, most of the time work clothes a white button down shirt and sta-prest pants hahah

V: If you are married, did you wear a veil with your wedding dress? If not, how did you do your hair?
i'm going to wear a veil when i get married IN FEBRUARY and i want to do my hair long ill probably get xtensions because im growing out a mullet

W: Do you wear a watch?
nope.

X: What item of clothing always makes you feel beautiful?
skinny jeans or anything that shows off my legs, most people don't give a fuck about legs but i have great gams

Y: What is your favorite type of yarn?
weird question

Z: Do you prefer zippers or buttons?
zippers for sure, h & m has the cutest little cropped biker jacket right now with zippers all over

i was thinking about ordering some of her lipstick (kat von d's painted love lipstick) off sephora... has anyone had any luck with these? i just noticed she had some good reds and as much as i hate to say it, her makeup always looks hot so i figured if she had her own line of makeup it's gotta be decent, right??

between bills and car insurance and gas and rent (bless rudy for paying my rent) i feel like i have NO FUCKING MONEY for myself just to treat myself. so dammit, i'm GOING to atlanta saturday before work and i'm going to get inked. ladies like this inspire me:


she's on the cover of the latest prick
hooooly jeesus this lady is gorgeous an her ink is amazing. probably one of the most stunning girls i've ever seen. jealous. she's also from texas. (fuck y'all i'm from texas!)

i got some opionions from people on the tattoo communities on here and they say wait it out and drive to atlanta when i get money and that's what im gonna do. i'm gonna either let oscar color in my half sleeve or see if he'll turn it into a full sleeve and then ill go get color later. also i need some ideas for a sick traditional chest piece.

these will do


orrr these





i saw a pair like these at aldo but that were waaay cuter at the mall


i don't know i'm leaning toward the plaid ones haha theyre pretty fug but they look cute with stretch jeans tucked into em

i bought two pairs of size 00 super skinny leg jeans, a black pair and an almost white pair, and they fit! and i tried them on two days before my period!! haha!! i didn't even think i could squeeze my ass into them but the sales guy convinced me to try them on because he said the size 0's were too baggy. i am now the proud owner of a pair of skinny jeans that say size 00 on the tag. i am such a girl.

also, if you want to come to mine and rudy's wedding on valentines day 2009, i'll need your mailing address so i can send invites. if you don't think you can make it out to that, our "reception" is gonna be a show at the masquerade with rudy's band playing, a.p.a. (hopefully) and a couple other bands probably. i guess that'll be like a day or two afterward. i'm still trying to talk rudy into letting us do a small one here too. i really want his folks to meet mine and actually get to talk to them.

also, i'm taking out a loan soon to get either breast augmentation or rhinoplasty (a nose job for those of you who don't NOSE hahaha)
yeah yeah, don't tell me i don't need it, you haven't had to live with the thing, i mean your nose is smack dab in the middle of your face and while a crooked skinny nose might be cute and add character on a guy like owen wilson



it is most certainly NOT something that flatters a woman's face. see SJP



while mine may not be quite that bad, i feel like it is, and i'm tired of people telling me i have my brother's nose or whatever (which has been broken like twice). ouch. ideally i'm going to get it fixed before my wedding day so it'll have time to heal and i'll take some beautiful wedding photos, because im sorry but every girl deserves to look amazing on her wedding day.

mindy, remember when you were talking about the pharmacy tech thing? i was thinking about going to school for that. did you say there was one in the area? i think the closest place was gadsden. yuck.

so everyone in ontd is ragging on avril lavigne (whom i personally can't stand but think she's adorable) about the above outfit and saying she's too old to dress like that and how cheesy and tacky she is. is there something wrong with me for loving the shit out of those boots? i mean i'm about the same age as her and i'm sorry but i don't want to start wearing pleat front dockers and hush puppies, dude.

i'm just wondering, is there some set age where you're supposed to stop being ~*different*~ LOLz.

it looks like we're not going to have enough to move to atlanta anytime soon. thanks a lot for firing me, steve. i wish i had the luxury of having the option to work or not to work as a matter of just having extra spending money, but unfortunately i DO try to pitch in and i do have bills to pay... all i can say is fuck you, man. i've applied absolutely everywhere within a 15 mile radius it seems, and business/the economy sucks so hard right now either no one is hiring or just like... nobody wants to hire me, and i'm not sure why. visible tattoos, idk?? my hair is a normal color now and i try to dress business casual for interviews but it's so god damn hot and you can still see some of my ink. this is fucking retarded. i even applied for hot topic and haven't heard back from them after doing an interview. is it just me or something??

either way looks like we're stuck here for another 6 months. we're moving out of this apartment soon at least thank god, i hope, if i can get enough money saved up between now and august to get the fuck out, we've found a duplex in spartanburg for 400 a month. but i'm still without transportation, save for rudy, god bless him.

i try calling my mom and she doesn't answer or return my calls. she seldom calls me anymore. i feel like a huge fuck up. haha i tried typing fuckup and the spell check on here corrected me and let me know that "fuckup" is actually two words. nice.

so yeah. shit sucks.

I WANT.



SOOOOO CUTE. SERIOUSLY.

i got fired.


awesome.

life could not be ANY more picturesque right now. cha.

thanks for cutting back on my hours. you guys can s my d. seriously. fuck you and fuck your fake ass establishment. i abhor you and everything about that shit. i'm a server, not a goddamn entertainer. i'm tired of bringing out filet mignon and 100 dollar bottles of wine to rich assholes. no, i can't work that wine key. i'd like to use the kind i use at home, but that's not "high dollar" enough. i'd rather just be a bartender/barback somewhere at a seedy bar that serves hot wings. at least i'd be dealing with real fucking people.

UGH.

going to ground zero for rudy's "jam night" sesh now. ciao.

they take your picture so you have identification to show when you go into costco, they put it on a little card and the picture is smaller than a dime. i def. don't LOOK like a dime in it hahahah i look like a fat asian with slanty little eyes and a weird smirk. forever my pic for costco now. i sometimes wonder, am i really that beat?? yuck.

i ordered a bunch of shit off the intrawebz and still i wait.

come on fedex.

also, just so you all know, costco kicks ASS. big deal if you have to buy everything in bulk, it's all really cheap and you can get ANYTHING there. i got a four piece smashbox makeup set for like 7 bucks. unfortunately the lipgloss doesn't really... work... yeah weird haha. thank god for costco though , and there are locations in atlanta i think. hello new apt furnishings?? haha.

i think i just heard a gunshot outside. fuck it, we live in the hood. the roaches in this apartment might as well be equipped with mini cans of spraypaint and write "SQUATTERS RIGHTS" on our walls. those mo'fuckas ain't leaving.

got this movie at a yardsale for $1 the other day. hahahaha. you know it's good

i'm not preggers. the big red bomb dropped on me BIG TIME an i bled like a stuck pig. boo. back to our regularly schedule programming. adlfjadlfjaf. i guess i'm relieved, i know rudy is, cause we sooo can't afford a baby anytime soon, but at the same time, i kinda.. really.. want one.

god has a plan i guess.

oh um, for punkmart/rocker_rags/77mart readers: here's some stuff i wants if anybody has avail.


( so i don't clog up anyone's friends page )